#at least now i have my beefed up pc but still.

[savageboar]

i love that they have to keep using this disclaimer because nintendo fanboys are so fucking insufferable

[estcaligo]

Sebek and phones facts and headcanons *contains x Prefect

We got some lore bits in this new update, and I want to talk about it a little.

We already know that Diasomnia is new to phones. They don't use it in Briar Valley (as there is little to no electricity, and internet is available in only a handful of places - never mind phone coverage).

This makes it 10 times funnier when you think they've been using phones for only 1–3 years :)

Lilia is the most familiar with tech among Diasomnia thanks to his age, experience, and gaming hobby.

Malleus breaks his phones often or doesn't understand how they work (but Malleus has beef with technology in general lol).

Silver at least uses his phone camera often, and it's for some mundane things, as he mentions in his 3rd birthday vignette.

And as for Sebek's phone lore:

In the recent update, we got confirmation that Sebek at least has a Magicam account. However, he claims he only uses it for communication.

I am really, really curious what kind of communication that is, because:

Sebek finds it rude to text Malleus and Lilia directly (meanwhile, Silver doesn't see a problem contacting them at all).

In Book 7, we learned that Sebek doesn't really have friends, or he doesn't consider them as such. But in the vignettes, we learn that he spends time with the first years, at least - eating out in town, visiting karaoke, etc. I assume they have each other's numbers for communication. Maybe a group chat. He also likely has Riddle's contact information (and perhaps other members of the Equestrian Club?). Perhaps they even have a club group chat too. (For some reason I think I remember Riddle mentioning this but I can't find it)

While Sebek insists he isn't interested in the videos and pictures humans post, I suspect he does use the internet occasionally. For example, in the 2024 Halloween event prologue, he mentions learning about a book fair. While it's possible he saw an announcement at the bookshop or on a bulletin board, maybe he also uses the internet to keep up with updates about new books or events.

In the latest 4koma manga, there's an entire episode featuring Malleus and Cater, where Malleus discovers a gargoyle on Cater's Magicam (on Lilia's pc with him). If Malleus starts using Magicam to look at gargoyles, I can definitely see Sebek following his liege's example - or browsing for gargoyle content himself to share with Malleus later :D

Now some of my personal headcanons:

I think Sebek would also use his phone as an alarm to make sure he never oversleeps.

He uses a timer for studies or training.

Like Silver, he takes photos of important things, for reference, etc.

In the Diasomnia group chat, he's always the first (at 00:01) to say happy birthday lol

(Adding these headcanons I've mentioned a while ago - I still like them)

He has Malleus on his lock screen of course

and his Human's photo on his home screen, but he'll never admit it.

Also, it would be so funny if he acts all tsundere about his disinterest in the photos humans post, but then one night you get a notification that he liked your photo. It was accidental, of course, and he'll deny it to his last breath if you ask him about it (especially if it was a cute photo of yours) :D

*Also, while we're on the topic, check out my comic about Sebek being a charger :)

[notoriousmasc]

i am. so curious pls tell me about ur beef with misfits and magic and acofaf

misfits and magic aired when i was more insecure about my sexuality than i am now and was pretty desperate to see a relationship like mine in media i loved. at the beginning i was genuinely convinced that there was gonna be something like that -- evan and jammer literally got, like, connected by the red thread of fate. i don't think it was a reach to assume that that was gonna be a romantic thing

then evan started dating the other PC that pretty much just like, fetishized his suffering and it wasn't really treated with the gravity i think it needed to have? they mentioned that it was kinda fucked up but they pretend that evan totally had a crush on them the whole time even though they spent 90% of their interactions with him biting their lip over the stuff that makes evan wanna die. the romance was shoehorned in in a way that i didn't enjoy, and after the fact there were so many fucking milennials talking about how Platonic Besties Why Can't We Talk About Male Friendship Dudes Rock evan and jammer were just made me hate the entire thing, even if my reasons aren't very valid

(also most of the NPCs were just really pretty boring and had the same personality (Snarky and/or Posh) with very few deviations. not much to really care about)

acofaf aired when i was more secure about my sexuality which i'm glad about because if it wasn't then i'd probably be on the news

it was a romance season but the romances were boring and the only male character who's into dudes pretty much just sleeps around and doesn't get into any serious stuff. in. the romance season. which is like that's chill ig, the character was played by lou so that's something at least. i think he dates that one guy by the end but i truly never finished it

aside from just being boring, this season also does one of the only things in D20 that i consider genuinely homophobic.

one of the main antagonists of the season is prince apollo, a character who's a fat bisexual dude. prince apollo, in this non-combat season, gets killed by one of the PCs.

EDIT: i initially remembered him as being killed mid coitus, but that wasn't actually correct. he was killed while receiving a "butt massage". which um. not MUCH better truth be told but still a BIT better

after being seduced by said PC. and it's like. it's treated like a whole bit. on the same level as the mice & murder finale. which um. like. come on dude that's like 2 steps away from some fucking hayes code shit jesus christ

the season was incredibly disappointing on that front, and now i have to deal with people being like "well, what about rue and hobb?" when i mention that D20 doesn't have enough male gay couples in it. despite rue very much not being a man

so like. idk. maybe im too much of a faggot for this shit

[the-acid-pear]

Had a nightmare with my mother. I was in what felt like a mixture of my current and my former house, having the layout of the latter but the lightning and modern furniture of the former. I was a having a normal one, I had found some fun shoes that looked like heeled ankle high red boots with a fluffy end that I was gonna post about making some cunt serving santa joke but my mother decided to kidnap a fucking toddler she had beef with for some reason.

Whole dream felt nerve-wracking from that point on because I kept getting very emotional trying to stop this woman from hurting a literal toddler (which I kept calling a baby) while she showed absolutely zero emotion, completely stoic, I was screaming and threatening her with the police and she just looked at me like 😐

When I tried to call the cops at first I accidentally typed 999 btw. It was awkward because she was looking at it too so it was like, y'know.

I remember they put the baby on a chair 🪑 w a plate of... Bushed up bananas and something else so I ran over so I'd feed it and she wouldn't. And it was funny because the room was on the back, where irl my computer was, and I'd swear someone was sitting there, or at least the PC was on. Tried to have dialogue with the baby about bananas (last thing I ate before sleep actually) but I don't remember what he said.

I tried to call 911 fr this time but I couldn't tell her properly what was going on I kinda was just screaming AND I ended up being interrupted because my mother called out saying she'd just ran my two latest sketchbooks under the sink which was what pushed me over the edge, confronting her on the bathroom and even pushing her inside the tub where she, turned into some fancy dark clothed dressed kpop boy and not knowing how else to get back I just turned on the shower (I had an actual fancy bathroom with a porcelain tub and tiles but I still had an electric shower, enforcing the mixture of this house).

Wet sketchbooks in hand I ran outside and again, sat on my front yard with a white plastic table my mother owned and spread the pages under the sun to try get them to dry and be saved. I also tried to get pictures of them while something was still visible. Between my sketchbooks there also was the book Cuentos de Amor, de Locura y de Muerte by Horacio Quiroga (of my favorites) and in one page the letters were straight up gone. Someone was watching me do this, some... Guy, I guess it'd have been a family's friend son (from here). He asked me if the book was good for plays and I showed him the back, calming down because of the confusion, and was like shrugging like yeah and he mildly agreed.

Eventually I ran back inside the house and I saw my older brother on the phone with the cops and what I felt was undescribable. So much so once we locked eyes the scene was gone and now it was a sequence of these two white light bodies moving and merging and floating thru landscapes; mountains and hills, rivers and grasslands, the colors were green and yellow and blue and pastel, I felt genuine peace, a feeling of truly not being alone, a knowledge that someone else was there and I'd rely on them. It felt like our souls were intertwined it felt so beautiful.

Then I don't remember what happened after I came back I think I started dreaming of something else.

[pinkhairandpokemon]

Whats the biggest beef you've had with each of your families?

Blake: oh boy good question. my family isn’t the worst but it’s not exactly what you’d call fuctional ._.

I guess in most recent memory… my mom sending me off to a college I didn’t want to go to? actually, that was the whole reason I ended up in Unova in the first place, at least until I got wrapped up in the Team Plasma problem

I dropped out some time before Plasma’s attack on the league. but the reason she sent me in the first place was bc I didn’t really have a plan for the future (I still don’t have a solid one but T_T I’m figuring it out) Anyways idk if it was a good college or not, I didn’t actually end up attending any of the classes…

Auberi: a lot of beef in my family tbh. I won’t go too into detail but my dad is an asshole and I have a brother that I don’t really talk to anymore, it’s just me and my mom

Hop: I think out of the three of us my family is the most chill I guess :’D We have our disputes sometimes but they usually get resolved pretty quickly.

Well, I guess there was that one time Lee and I argued about what to do with Eternatus. Blake felt bad about locking it away in a PC box and after some convincing I agreed to help them try and train it. Lee found out and got onto us about how dangerous it was. It was frustrating at the time, but I know he was only looking out for us. It all worked out in the end though, Eternatus is free and in stable condition! The wolves now watch over it I’m pretty sure. It even visits us sometimes! Eternatus actually turned out to be a big softy believe it or not. In fact, Sonia came up with the theory that Eternatus is technically a baby dragon, but that’s something I’ll save for another time

[jakey-beefed-it]

Things are mostly good: an update

My own d&d game is going pretty well. It’s not the HOLY FUCK AMAZING thing that I want it to be, but people seem to be enjoying it. I think I can keep it going in a good enough manner for the next year or so before wrapping up the campaign.

The d&d game I’m playing in is also going well. There’s some intra-party conflict but my own character isn’t involved, really. She’s fun to play both in social situations and in combat.

I got to play some Necromunda a couple weeks back. I’d do it again this weekend but instead the local store is having ‘Tanksgiving’ where everyone brings a single tank of 250 points or less and we have a big battle royale. I’m bringing a Fire Prism- probably people are going to stomp me with gladiators and immolators and whatnot, but whatever, I’ll probably do some damage and almost certainly have some laughs, anyhow.

It’s been like a month since the shitbag cousin and her shitbag nazi family moved out, and the subsequent quiet and ability to actually spread out in our own fucking house has been lovely. A bit of hard, tiring work getting this place into a more liveable shape, but at least i’m no longer resentful of doing that work, since it feels like doing it for myself and my actual loved ones, instead of a bunch of shitbag nazis.

Making slow but steady progress toward organizing and condensing my own living space toward the goal of moving to Canada as soon as that’s feasible. Still lots and lots of hurdles to jump there, but some progress is better than none.

Sleeping on a new mattress which is notably better for my back. Should give me a little more energy, or at the very least a bit fewer pauses to grimace and say ‘owww my baaack’ when trying to do things

About my only beefs at the moment are pretty standard: depressive brain, anhedonia, being poor, feeling useless. Not having the money or energy to be a Manic Pixie Dream Fiancee who can just swoop in and make everything better for Athena all at once (please note that this is not at all what she’d want, it’s my own hangup). Missing my old d&d game where I got to play Altanin, wondering how long I should wait before I go looking for a new game to play him in- wouldn’t want to be rude to the dm of that game who is currently running the game where I play my hexblade after the previous campaign (the one with Altanin, among others) kinda fell apart. Don’t want to be rude or look like I’m ‘moving on’ too fast or whatever, but very much do want to play the big lad in a long-term campaign somewhere. The game fell apart in like, April, I think? Is it like Victorian widowhood? Do I get to take off the black veil next April? Idk, it still kinda feels weird since it’d be with a different DM and at least mostly different PCs even if I did drag a couple with me. Also i don’t know a lot of DMs, and none well enough to be like “Hey, yo, will you run a campaign for 20 levels so I and maybe a couple others can get closure for some specific characters?”

Maybe that’ll change at some point, too, idk. Things are largely going well for now, and I’m going to try and focus on that even though my mood itself has been caught in a bit of a downswing of late. 

[soup-du-silence]

Thoughts on the whole FOWL arc, particularly Bradford’s arc and his beef with Scrooge? I felt it wasn’t handled great at all, and I think I sympathized a bit more with Bradford than the writers had intended? I dunno, I just wanted Scrooge to be a bit in the wrong for ONCE and suffer real consequences. Never really bought or understood the show’s idea of family or adventure either, especially the VERY extended family they tried to make in Season 3.

i feel like pcs would have a good answer to this actually but Im personally really fuzzy on the whole bradford thing because ive only seen most of season 3 once and didnt enjoy a lot of it so Im....hm. bradford hates....the nebulous idea of adventure because its inconvenient and expensive? and also personally traumatic? am i understanding that correctly?

and for a while i remember thinking....is bradford going to be a vehicle for exploring why scrooge’s reckless, selfish behavior is terrible for everyone else in the world, why hoarding wealth is wrong, why looting other civilizations is wrong, is there going to be a big heel turn, and we’ll have to reconcile with how watching the show from his point of view has blinded us to the harm he’s causing, and why people like musk and bezos are actual real life villains, and is bradford actually going to be a guy you root for, like poison ivy, wouldnt that be SICK??? wouldnt that be smart and brave and interesting???

and then it not only did none of that, but it leaned extra hard into the nepotism angle, without a hint of irony, and im still totally baffled by it

the bradford thing ended up just being...petty and stupid. like if someone was tasked with writing poison ivy and was like “okay but we cant let her be too relatable, she’s right you know, and people know it, so instead of being an eco terrorist trying to reclaim mother earth from capitalist pigs at any cost, she’s just really mad cus someone overwatered her succulents when she went on vacation as a kid.” You HAD something, it was right there, and you had to dial it back because mickey’s signing your paychecks.

i so, so badly wanted scrooge to be WRONG. he IS wrong. He’s ALWAYS been wrong and thats very often the POINT of his character and I really expected that that would be something we could talk about at least a little in 2017-2021 but apparently not. like i HAVE to believe the crew knows, i follow a lot of them on twitter and I see how they talk about current events so I HAD hoped.

idk.

the family thing really got on my nerves after a while because it became a buzzword for, like, “we havent done a good job of selling you this idea but if we say it often enough then you have to accept it as true.” Especially in regards to webby. i think i brought it up sometime around when moonlander aired, because she kept dropping “family” in a way that didnt feel convincing to me and was really obvious every time it happened. and i had a whole long list of things that made it feel forced, starting with “scrooge literally fucking yells that she’s not family and this doesnt concern her and NEVER apologizes” and includes “wow webby says ‘my family’ about the ducks WAY MORE than anyone else says it about her” and “spending a whole season focused on della reconnecting with her biological family SPECIFICALLY, which webby is understandably and justifiably not a part of, leaving her out by necessity” and “lots of episodes about clan mcduck specifically and the power and importance of that bloodline, which is kind of icky actually, but we’ll just paint it as grand and noble and never mention non-mcducks like Quackmore or Elvira because Scrooge is literally the only one who matters.” 

and its hard to really sell Webby as part of the unit when you’re so obsessed with the bloodlines and heritage of One Man so I guess in that regard it makes sense why they did what they did. if you’re not gonna devote the time to explaining why she is good and why she matters INDEPENDANTLY of how much scrooge lore she has memorized then i guess yeah just slap some of his genes in her and make it fact because while I wanted to believe that she was part of the family, i dont feel like they ever did the hard work of convincing me she was. they just kept saying FAMILY FAMILY FAMILY until i went “god yeah shut up i get it”

like he NEVER FUCKING APOLOGIZED, guys. and she just forgives him before they ever see each other again. How fucking hard would it have been to have them sit down like “i didnt mean it, i was wrong, and if i didnt see you as my family then thats my own fault because you’ve been here under my roof your whole life and i had my head too far up my own cloaca to see what i was missing. that changes now, you’re one of us”

but that would mean admitting he was wrong. and scrooge is never wrong.

[rayveewrites]

Ray Hijacks the Team ZIT Ghostbuster AU Again

So @shadeswift99 made a few posts a while ago about a Team ZIT(S) ghostbuster AU, And then I may or may not have hijacked the post to add in ideas for most of the other hermits because why not.

Now, back then I was spitballing ideas and making them up on the spot, which is admittedly my usual writing process, but hey.

That said, I've had more time to think about it, and then last night I blacked out for a few hours and came to with a Google Doc filled with short bios for all of the hermits and a handful of hermit-adjacents. Now, this rapidly turned into an urban fantasy AU in my hands, but hey. It's fun.

This is in alphabetical order, with alternate personas (EX, Helsknight, Beetlejhost) beneath their original counterparts when applicable:

Bdubs

Lives in an old mansion in the woods alongside Doc for reasons known only to them. Bdubs works as an interior designer, with a side gig as a freelance hairdresser. His eyes are unnaturally large, similar to Keralis’, and he is at least partially a plant. Completely feral and frequently gets in trouble for having knives on him at all times. He and Cleo have a thing called Knife Club which makes everyone else nervous. Nobody messes with Knife Club. It’s not worth it. Sunbathes frequently.

Beef

Is a perfectly normal human being. He works as a butcher with a side gig as a graphic designer specializing in album covers and spends his free time playing pokemon and dragging Etho along to social events. He was the first person to spot the cryptid, and the first person who Etho approached of his own accord.

Biffa

Is a ghost possessing a robotic shell. Biffa is from the future. While initially his main goal was to get back home to his own time, Biffa has since made friends and settled down into a new life running a cafe specializing in a wide range of teas. He’s quite content with this, and has actually found himself far happier than he was in his own time. While his nature means he can see, hear and touch ghosts, his body was built specifically for a disembodied soul to be in the driver’s seat, and he doesn’t want to risk another taking control. Also, he has more important things to do than have fistfights with ghosts.

Cleo

Is a ghost possessing her own dead corpse. Her nature allows her to see, hear and touch ghosts. Can and will fistfight spirits. She works as a teacher, so she’s usually busy, but occasionally in really nasty situations the Beetlejhost will drag her in to break a ghost’s legs. Does sculpture in her free time, and is actually really good. The only one who can wrangle Beetle to any real capacity, and she’s learned to keep him on a fairly short leash. Housemates with Joe, and Keralis also pops in pretty frequently. Has Knife Club with Bdubs. Has an enchanted flower crown that prevents her from decaying further; a gift from Beetle. Recently started learning magic in the form of necromancy and illusions. Has an ongoing ‘feud’ with Zloy, in which she temporarily traps his soul in random inanimate objects every now and then.

Cub

A bit of a ‘mad scientist’ archetype, Cub’s experiments are not exactly the most ethical, though they’re at least more professional than Doc’s. Responsible for the creation of Jevin. Cub gets possessed stupidly easily- sometimes willingly- and can usually handle it himself but sometimes has to call for help. Has a magical method of communication with Scar for exactly this reason. Has a day job as co-owner of a business called ConCorp, which he started with Scar. Has probably broken the Geneva Convention.

Doc

Was presumably human at one point. Now an abomination. Repeated experiments on himself have resulted in a massively changed facial and foot structure, a body covered in mottled green scales, claws, and goat horns. He lost half his face in one of his experiments, and constructed a new cybernetic one. He lost his right arm fighting God. Killed said god and would do it again. Lives in a mansion in the woods with Bdubs, though nobody’s really sure why. Owns a casino because of course he does. Also a living crime against fashion, because the man refuses to wear anything other than his tattered lab coat, torn jeans, and crocs.

Ely

Runs the local radio station. Nobody’s ever seen him in person, and nobody knows where he gets people’s voice clips for his remixes. Probably a cryptid. Maybe a ghost. Seems pretty chill, despite the blatant invasions of privacy.

Etho

Is a cryptid. Lives out in the woods in an abomination that can barely be called a house. Has never been seen in anything other than full Kakashi cosplay. Tends to keep to himself, but occasionally lets Beef drag him along to social events, often with Doc and Bdubs. Nobody really knows what his deal is. Probably not human. Probably.

False

Used to be part of an illegal underground cage fighting ring, until she earned enough to buy her way out. Having grown up in said ring, she struggles to adjust to normal life, but living in a town where the barista is a robot and the local tailor has wings makes it easier. She now has a job as security at Doc’s casino, alongside Iskall.

Grian

Is either an angel or a demigod, but nobody knows which. Has wings. Is both a tailor and an architect. A complete gremlin who has elaborate masks of various birds and will wear them to commit crimes. Eats seeds. Messes with everyone else’s plants. Lives in Jungle Wood Flats. Volunteers at the local theatre.

Hypno

Has three eyes, but hides the third one under a bandanna at all times. Can see ghosts with it. Had problems with sections of plumbing randomly getting clogged and also making very weird noises, and eventually called Team ZIT when the plumbers couldn’t find the source. Was prepared for ghosts, but wound up with a slime creature instead. Works in a $2 store for some reason.

Impulse

Is fully human. The most sensible member of Team ZIT (which admittedly isn’t saying much), Impulse has a day job as a freelancer building custom PCs and fixing broken tech. Agreed to the whole ghostbusting deal because he was bored, mostly. Was the first one to meet Skizz face-to-face, and is the one to own that particular place outright. Gets possessed every now and then, usually by larger spirits. Used to run solely on caffeine and chronic anxiety until Zedaph started getting on his case about his sleep schedule. Now he runs on less caffeine, more sleep, and the same amount of chronic anxiety.

Iskall

Was part of a cloning experiment to create the ultimate hitman, and was the only known one to both survive and escape before the whole thing was shut down by the authorities. Their eye and arm were replaced with cybernetics in order to increase their already enhanced abilities, and they were chased by said authorities, eventually winding up on Mumbo’s doorstep and becoming Mumbo’s problem. Now works as security at Doc’s casino, alongside False. Lives at Jungle Wood flats. Occasionally volunteers at the local theatre. Does bonsai as a hobby.

Jevin

Is the slime creature in the pipes. Hypno lets him live with him under the condition he stops blocking the plumbing and making weird noises at 3 AM (Jevin still blocks the plumbing and makes weird noises at 3 AM, just not as much as he was). Has taught himself to take a humanoid shape, and likes having fingers. Sleeps in the bathtub because he can. Was created from a vat of chemicals in a secret lab underneath the house, which used to be owned by Cub. Doesn’t really talk to the man in question that much, but will occasionally refer to Cub as his father for the sole reason of watching him go through eight existential crises in three minutes. Has a glock.

Joe

Head librarian at the local public library, and has read a lot of books on Supernatural Things. Is a veritable fountain of exposition if you can figure out what he’s saying or have Cleo along with you to threaten the integrity of his shins. Has never been seen in the same place as the Beetlejhost. Are they the same person? Are they entirely separate beings? Is there a Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde-type situation going on? Who knows!

Beetlejhost

Literally nobody really knows what his deal is. Nobody. Team ZIT ran into him on a call that they expected to be a false alarm and then he decided to follow them home. Spends most of his time being a minor nuisance in the most bizarre ways possible. Is implied to be responsible for the Ever Given getting lodged in the Suez Canal, but never confirmed. When he’s not bothering Team ZIT or getting them out of tight spots, he’s usually pestering Cleo, the only one who can keep him in line. It’s not really known if he and Cleo have a history or if they’re just Like That.

Keralis

Is a ghost haunting an architecture firm, and is mostly bound to the building, though he can travel to other buildings the firm has built, which is, uh, most of them. Initially only able to do small things- mostly writing notes or drawing diagrams- he eventually meets the Beetlejhost when the latter follows Mumbo to work one day for shits and giggles (he wanted to see how long he could mess with Mumbo before the man noticed. As it turned out, about a week, and by the end it was Iskall who noticed). After a couple of days in which Beetle teaches Keralis Ghost Things™, he scares half the office when he finally manifests for the first time. Has unnaturally large eyes and nicknames for most of the workers. Has no idea how he died or what his unfinished business might be. Very knowledgeable about architecture, and his input is usually very much appreciated.

Mumbo

Is a perfectly normal human being who does IT at Keralis’ architecture firm. Lives at Jungle Wood flats and spends most of his free time tinkering with tech and trying to keep Grian and Iskall out of trouble, which is a losing battle. Has a large, beating golden heart in his flat. He’s not really sure what its deal is, but if he feeds it apples it produces enough power for the entire building. Oh, and if he forgets to feed it for an extended period of time it starts draining his bank account. It’s really weird.

Pixlriffs

Was a perfectly normal human being until he died protecting a certain Russian zombie and became a perfectly normal ghost. Was a reporter in life and is a reporter in death. Runs a blog alongside Zloy about the local goings-on, supernatural or not. The blog’s the type where unless you live in/near the town you most likely won’t stumble across it, but they do have a small following of outsiders who assume the blog’s just a work of fiction. His unfinished business is to prevent Zloy from doing anything particularly stupid, a constant battle. Is able to go more places than Zloy due to being incorporeal, but respects people’s privacy. He’s bound to Zloy to a certain degree, not being able to go beyond a certain range of his friend. The range is pretty big, though, and he has plenty freedom of movement.

Python

Had a run-in with the fae as a kid, in which he accidentally pissed one off. In retribution, the faerie challenged him to answer a riddle or he’d be turned into a snake. Python’s answer was partially correct, so the faerie only transformed him partially. Python is fairly chill, though he strongly dislikes the cold and starts hissing if anyone disturbs him during Sun Time™. Sometimes Bdubs, being partially flora, joins Python for Sun Time™. He’s not venomous, because, you know...python. Also, he has a mildly disturbing habit of strangling rats and mice and then eating them whole, but he can’t help it and just tries not to do so when he has company.

Ren

Is a werewolf. He’s pretty chill regardless of form, though it’s only been recently he’s been comfortable enough leaving his ears and tail visible. He works as a lumberjack. One time Pixl introduced him to Monty Python’s Lumberjack Song and it quickly became his favourite thing. He spends most of his free time volunteering at the local theatre because Ren is absolutely a theatre kid and nobody can convince me otherwise. Gets possessed every now and then. Lives in Jungle Wood flats.

Scar

Works as a landscape developer. Gets possessed absurdly easily, though not quite as frequently as Cub. Has a magical method of communication with him. Technically co-owns ConCorp, but isn’t as involved. His cat, Jellie, is very obviously an eldritch abomination in feline form and he is comedically unaware of this. Lives in Jungle Wood Flats with Grian, Iskall, Mumbo, Stress, and Ren.

Skizz

Is the ghost haunting Team ZIT’s office. He was murdered by someone he’d thought was a friend who was trying to use his place to hide from the cops, and he’s stuck around, haunting the building. His unfinished business is to make sure nobody else uses the building for anyone shady, but the ghost rumours tended to chase most people off. Eventually he gets used to having Team ZIT around, and when Tango admits he doesn’t really have anywhere to go one day, Skizz eventually makes the decision to finally unlock the still-furnished upper floor for him. He’s bound to the building, but Impulse learns that carrying Skizz’s old vest with them allows him to leave. After that, Skizz sometimes accompanies them on missions and occasionally just hanging out. He’s usually more helpful than the Beetlejhost is.

Stress

Is a witch. Stress lives in Jungle Wood Flats and works as a doctor who specializes in supernaturally caused injuries- Team ZIT are some of her best customers. She also sells magic potions of various kinds, and has a side gig as a florist. She’s 90% of the Jungle inhabitants’ impulse control. Also has cryokinesis.

Tango

The Team ZIT member with a car. He gets possessed with frankly ridiculous frequency, but claims not to believe in ghosts for a long time (and keeps up the bit for even longer). Has developed various signals to indicate when he’s being possessed again. The strongest one, a rather nasty demon Cleo and the Beetlejhost had to team up on, left him with his glowing red eyes. He didn’t really have anywhere to go before Impulse bought the office, and tended to sleep on the couch or in his car until Skizz decided to let him into the upper floor, where he now lives alongside Zedaph and Impulse.

TFC

A now-retired ghostbuster, TFC calls in Team ZIT one night when he finds himself in over his head against a ghost with a grudge. He winds up becoming a bit of a mentor figure to the trio, usually coaching them over the phone if they’re not sure how to deal with one of the stranger spirits. Lost his leg years ago in a fight with a poltergeist that could have gone better, and now has a robotic prosthetic made by Doc.

Wels

While Team ZIT was out investigating some rumour or another in the woods, they came across a large stone box. Following video game logic, I guess, they then decided opening this large stone box sounded like a fun idea. Well, Tango and Zedaph did. Impulse was a bit more hesitant. The box actually held a medieval knight who’d been put in an enchanted sleep for centuries by his demonic doppelgänger, and was very much not prepared for modern life. Team ZIT took him to Xisuma, who happened to live closest, and Wels is currently helping out on the farm and trying to adjust to life in the 21st century. He can understand and speak modern English just fine because magic. Volunteers at the local theatre quite a lot.

Hels

Is Wels’ doppelgänger. Technically a minor demon. Won a fight with Wels and sealed him away for centuries as a result. A recurring problem. His real motivation is that he really desperately doesn’t want to go back to Hell, but he’s too proud to admit it. Lives in the woods with EX, who’s basically his only friend, though the weirdo with the brown cardigan keeps pestering him about his backstory and feelings for some reason. Has minor pyrokinesis.

XB

Like Biffa, XB is also a ghost from the future, though it seems to be a different timeline than Biffa’s. His unfinished business is preventing the apocalypse, but he has no idea how to do that, no idea if he’s in the right timeline, and is pretty sure he’s gone back a lot farther than he probably should’ve. Also, there’s the whole paradox issue, where if he prevents the apocalypse he never has a reason to go back and prevent the apocalypse, so he doesn’t prevent the apocalypse, so he has to go back and- he tries not to think about it too much. He mostly just hangs out in an abandoned house on the edge of town and vibes.

Xisuma

Is a beekeeper. Nobody’s ever seen his face; when he’s not in his beekeeping outfit, he’s either wearing a helmet, or (more recently) an extremely lifelike and detailed animal mask (is it a mask?). Actually a shapeshifting alien, he crashed down to Earth after a scuffle with his evil clone and was stranded because Earth doesn’t have the right tools or resources to repair a spaceship. These days he’s actually found he’s happier tending to his bees, selling honey, and helping his friends out, and probably wouldn’t leave Earth even if he could. It’s a simpler life, but a pleasant one. He bonds with Biffa over a shared love of tea and being stranded in a technologically inferior world and finding a home.

Evil Xisuma

Is Xisuma’s clone. Feels that if everyone’s going to call him ‘Evil’ he may as well own it. Shot his original’s spaceship down in a scuffle but wound up being brought down with him. Currently hides in the woods. Generally more of a minor nuisance than an actual danger. Used to spend his free time bothering X but has gotten put off by Wels, who has a problem when it comes to evil clones. His friends consist of Hels, who is a terrible role model, and Zedaph, who’s trying to help him work through his problems behind everyone’s backs. Can summon lightning because he deserves it.

Zedaph

Is the reason Team ZIT is ghostbusting in the first place. He’s a sheep shearer by trade, but that’s a fairly seasonal thing and ghostbusting is more fun anyway. Has somehow never been possessed, and claims it’s because he’s always standing next to Tango. He makes sure the other two gets enough sleep Because we all know they can’t be trusted to do it. Probably has some sort of really bizarre and situational magical powers he is thoroughly unaware of. Qualified to be a licensed therapist. Made friends with Evil X at one point, somehow.

Zloy

Like Cleo, he’s a ghost possessing a corpse. Unlike Cleo, there’s a good chance it’s not his corpse. Eh, it’s not like anyone else was using it. Runs a blog with Pixl, because why not. Was already a zombie when he met Pixl, who was still alive at the time. His body is a bit more decayed than Cleo’s, but it’s fine. His goggles are enchanted with the same preservation spell; it’s not really ever explained where he got them from. Has no regard for privacy but is fortunately unable to turn invisible or phase through walls due to inhabiting a physical body. Both can theoretically physically fight ghosts and has enough time to physically fight ghosts, meaning he would be a valuable ally if he could be bothered. Lives in a graveyard. Has an ongoing ‘feud’ with Cleo, in which he puts jabs at her on the blog. Once spent a week as a (very sarcastic) floating potato.

Hermiton

Is the name of the place they all live in/near. Located in an ambiguous location in an ambiguous country, Hermiton is technically large enough to be considered a city but has Town VibesTM. Supernatural going-ons are a fairly normal part of life, and a good number of inhabitants aren’t humans. Despite this, the wider world seems mostly ignorant of the existence of ghosts, magic, etc. I’m not too sure about geography, but it’s surrounded by forest in most directions and in a warm enough climate to not have snow in the winter (so Python doesn’t, you know, freeze to death). Most people don’t tend to bat an eyelid at strange-looking people walking down the street or serving them at the store; they’re used to it by now. There are several theories as to why Hermiton specifically has so much going on when it comes to the supernatural- ley lines, secretly the resting place of some long-forgotten god, et cetera- but it’s actually more of a case of ‘people who have supernatural traits hear rumours of a place where a lot of people have supernatural traits and go there in search of answers/a place to belong’. This doesn’t exactly explain where all the ghosts came from, but hey. Nothing’s perfect.

[kazewhara]

hello hello!! may i ask what build you have on your kazuha? o: when his rerun comes around, i wanna be prepared and not smack random weapons/artifacts on him because ̶h̶e̶ d̶e̶s̶e̶r̶v̶e̶s̶ ̶b̶e̶t̶t̶e̶r̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t i don't want to look dumb in front of my fellow players. like my worst genshin fear is: "moony why do you have defense artifact on kazuha-"

hey hey! :D

so i'm still working out the kinks, but right now i'm running a hybrid dps-support build on kazuha! i say this all the time, but the only reason i'm doing that is because while i am someone who thrives off of elemental reactions, i am also a sucker for the big green anemo numbers -- hence why i'm always freaking out about xiao's numbers.

i digress!

he's running a 4 pc viridescent set rn with atk sands, anemo dmg goblet and ... atk circlet, i believe! (i'm laying down and am in too much pain to turn my console back on to check; it's either atk circlet or crit rate circlet with high atk subs.) and for his weapon, i've got a r1 lvl 90 freedom sworn! (before that, it was r2 iron sting ☝🏾)

i made sure that each artifact rolled into either attack (%) or elemental mastery because y'know, the 4pc swirl bonus with vv... his em is at 526, i believe? i have really good em artifacts lined up (i think. assuming i didn't use em to lvl smth else. 🧍🏾) in the event that i wanna run a full support build, buuut i've tried the full em thing -- goblet, sands, and circlet -- and while it's nice to have elemental reactions prolonged and my other characters doing bigger damage, i don't have them on the field long enough to appreciate it

i am a kazuha simp ,,, i try to keep him out as long as humanly possible, so i had to beef him first.. the priorities of a filthy simp.

i'm still searching for better hybrid builds because i don't want kazuha's support qualities to go to waste -- i now have xiao for big green numbers, but xiao isn't my first love, y'know? i still want kazuha to do at least 20k when he crits -- he does, but not often enough.. his crit ratio isn't good enough ..

but you can either give him a full em artifact set or build him the same way you would xiao, with crit rate/dmg and energy recharge being your main subs ! i think it depends on what you want to do with him and how effective you want him to be on your team.. in my case, i think of these things in a.. very creative sense, but i'll shut up now i've spoken way too much i'm sorry

[theworldbrewery]

how to use legendary items

Hey y’all, AJ here with my first big post in what feels like a million years. Let’s talk legendary.

So, legendary items are typically super old, super valuable, and super rare. These three traits are technically all you need for a legendary item, but in all honesty, the way these objects work, you almost always want to have some Lore to go along with them--any cleric worth their salt will use Legend Lore to learn about priceless and ancient artifacts (you know, once they’re of a high enough level), and lore is an excellent way to introduce the concept of an item before players can get their hands on it.

First off: a good legendary item has 3 functions: it should have its “mundane” use, its passive abilities, and its active-use options.

A “mundane” use is basically the ‘default magical item of this type’ feature--a bonus to attacks or damage with a weapon, or an increased spell save DC from a wizard’s staff, etc. You don’t have to beef this up, if the other abilities are strong enough, though. The passive abilities should be in addition to the basic use--the Ironbrand Staff, for instance, might grant fire resistance or increase Armor Class in addition to being a spellcasting focus. Your active-use options are a shortlist of things the legendary item can do, but you have to spend a part of your turn or concentrate in order to use the ability. In the Ironbrand Staff example, it might have an effect that binds an eligible monster of a certain CR to its service for a short duration, sort of like the Dominate Monster or Planar Binding spells.

In my own homebrew, I like to include all three of these types of abilities and tend to offer at least a couple active-use options that the user can choose from (that cannot be used simultaneously--if you bind a monster with the Ironbrand Staff, you can’t expend a use to heal with your reaction unless you drop the binding). The active-use options have a limited number of charges and usually recharge daily, but those rules are at your discretion depending on how powerful the abilities are. If you include rules like this, feel free to add some flavor--armor blessed by the god of the sun might recharge at noon every day, for example.

As for lore, the lore should have a few factors: where did it/its powers come from, who wielded it, and what is its most legendary story?

Some items might have been crafted by talented mortals; others are artifacts from long-dead civilizations; still others were forged by the gods themselves, or by the fey, or pulled out of a dream already made.

These items were used by somebody; they didn’t just sit on the mantelpiece looking pretty. That person might have been a famous paladin, a shadowy assassin, or a lich, but settling on who that person is and what they were known for will be a big help for establishing the lore of the item.

And these items are legendary for a reason. What happened? Was this blade used to kill an emperor, or was the Covetous Hat used to sow discord among the mortals who wanted its power?

One last thing. I believe that the best practice is to envision how each of your legendary items might appeal to a particular PC. Obviously if you have a single caster, they’ll get the magic wand. But tailoring the abilities and lore of an item to the interests of an individual party member helps to give them a personal investment in acquiring them: they’ll feel like the item is meant for them, because in some ways, it is. But if you want to scatter items with no intended recipient, that’s also fine--and keep in mind that even if you know who you want to receive the item, the players might not agree with you.

FAQ

My players are still low-level, but they want more thrilling items. What can I do?

You can take this a couple directions. First, you can give out minor legendary items--items that are less powerful, but still have some legendary component: a local knight slew a lindworm living in the town well with this blade; the witch of these woods bespelled this cloak with an enchantment to give her greater stealth.

My personal preference is to simply “de-power” an item of legendary significance. I like this because it takes the situation from “we got a nuke, now let’s cause problems” to “we have to figure out how to make this nuke functional again.” Perhaps the Helm of the Flies is shattered and the party must find all the pieces and repair it. The Ironbrand Staff is sentient and lost its swagger, so the party has to figure out how to build up its self-esteem so the magic works again.

How do I know how powerful this item is?

Personally, I think the safest route is to compare it to similar items. If you don’t have the DMG handy for item homebrewing, look up a few legendary items online and see how they function. Find a good template to work off, and you’ll be fine.

If you are using the DMG, keep in mind that like CR calculations for homebrew monsters, the DMG’s info is going to be approximate. In a campaign full of undead, the zombie-slayer sword is going to be more effective than in a campaign full of fiends. Context matters.

Wait wait wait, how do I work these into my campaign?

It’s up to you! I enjoy leaving them as complicated plot hooks, like I mentioned above, but in one case, I let my players take a legendary trident off an elemental myrmidon completely unaware of its power--only for a plot twist to make them lose it again (ideally they’ll get it back someday). They might be wielded by an important enemy, hidden in a pile of loose coin and gems in a dungeon, guarded as a priceless relic, or simply rumored about. You could even claim the old item was long ago destroyed, but the blueprints remain--giving the party a chance to craft a legend of their own.

[smartguyreviewed]

2x4 - Dateline

Original air date: Oct 1, 1997

Anyone who was holding their breath for me to get back to this, thank you. Been going through a lot like most people right now but I had to remember this blog is a good distraction because I get to write about one of my favorite shows growing up. Anyways, enjoy. :) 

Let’s talk about cock-blocking or to be more gender inclusive...actually, I can’t think of a term similar that utilizes both a male and female part. Anyhoo, let’s talk about it.

I’ve done it (unintentionally). You’ve done it. We’ve all had it done to us as well. Like the night you finally got a chance to be alone with your dipshit crush and your annoying friend tried to insert herself until she finally realized what was going on and left you two alone so you could have your first kiss ever at age 19.

TJ is an extreme cock blocker. He will break your shit up and then pout because he’s still just a kid. Normally, TJ only wants to punish Marcus by enacting this cruel tactic but in this episode, he shifts gears to the person who is both a mother and father to him: Daddy Flody.

We begin this episode at a supermarket. Tj is checking out cereals and Floyd is checking out dat ass.

TJ catches Floyd staring and in his precocious little way, starts asking him questions about women. It kind of reminds me of Frank from Milk Money. which is a horrible movie that I adore and you should watch it because despite a little kid befriending a prostitute, it’s still a decent 90s coming-of-age tale. And Alex DeLarge is in it.

After TJ makes his dad sweat further by asking what body type gets his penis erect, TJ comes to the conclusion that Floyd is lonely and could probably benefit from some female companionship.

Cut to TJ on an unrealistically chatty PC barking at TJ to fill in the boxes for Floyd. I don’t know about you, but if my computer kept talking to me, I’d throw it out of the fucking window. I am so glad websites that talk at you are obsolete. Apparently, this computer is also sentient because TJ pauses for just a moment too long when Marcus comes in and this impatient computer bitch asks for the rest of the info in a more demanding tone.

But because TJ was distracted, he inputs his own height instead of his dad’s and the computer announces that she’s transferring him to their little people’s section. Hey, they gotta find love too!

Marcus is skeptical of why TJ is trying to set Floyd up. Just then, Yvette walks in and asks who is using her eyeliner to write down phone messages, which I totally expect a straight man to do. After fessing up, Marcus asks Yvette to dissuade TJ from setting up his dad. Yvette then uses her soon-to-be psychology degree on Marcus and reasons that he might be a little salty because he doesn’t want another woman to replace his mom. But no, Marcus is a teenage boy and completely lacking depth until certain episodes call for it. Instead, he says he just wants the car on weekend evenings so he can try to bang his latest girl of the week. Of course, he could just be deflecting to avoid a heavy conversation but I’m gonna go with the former because Marcus is the horniest boy on the show.

Yvette decides to help TJ since Floyd has few dating options. Her plan is to beef up his personal ad by making him younger and a fan of soul food and Maya Angelou. Marcus is still not with the shits and says that nobody wants to date an “old guy with three kids.” Completely forgetting about the fact that his dad is an attractive man, this happens instead:

TJ and the gang are now making final cuts on the 130 prospects Floyd had. I mean, that’s great and all but I’m sure at least half of those women were catfishes. Then again, in the 90s, maybe there was more legitimacy since there wasn’t enough technology to hide behind? I dunno. But Floyd definitely has some options.

While deliberating who will receive the clock from Floyd, Marcus makes what would be considered a transphobic comment questing if some of them really are women and how he doesn’t want Floyd to end up like Eddie Murphy. Mo, on the other hand is questing if this is even legal. Mo is a teenage boy and is probably likening it to what Tinder now is: a place to meet horny individuals.

Yvette thinks the ladies are good picks but then begins nitpicking their flaws, among one of them being that one of the ladies has breast implants. Because women who get surgeries to help boost their self esteem apparently don’t deserve love? Yvette is such a hypocrite as we’ll see in the future. Mo then begins taking the rejected pics because he loves older women, especially ones with perceived low self esteem. Just then, Floyd comes in the room and the gang has to cover up their dirty work. Floyd makes a bad joke and then dips out.

They eventually settle on a light-skinned natural woman named Jamie. They agree to meet at the grocery store, sot hat’s where we end up. Marcus is acting like he’s never seen pretty girls outside of school and leaves to spit game at women who just wanna be left alone so they can buy their frozen pizza and wine in peace.

Jamie sees who she thinks is her suitor and immediately is pissed because she, you know, thought she’d be meeting Floyd and not a little boy. Yvette comes over to smooth things over and convinces Jamie to meet Floyd. Well, TJ’s cute face convinced her after she was understandably freaked out. They go to meet Floyd. 

Jamie shows up and explains what happened and that she was pre-screened to make sure she wasn’t a guy. Floyd actually even gives her an up and down look before she says she passed! Pretty sure this also wouldn’t go over well today. Jamie and Floyd, however, hit it off and leave to go on a date. When they get back, Yvette and TJ are spying on the new couple to see how it went. Floyd was actually bigging up TJ and talking about how smart he is to Jamie when they got in. Aww. Floyd is proud of his son for hooking him up. Yvette is noticeably annoyed at how he gets all of the credit, but I mean, it was his idea. Yvette just helped him out. 

Upon completion of this totally selfless act to get his father some love, TJ is happy at first. Yay TJ! You’re on the right track to becoming a thoughtful human be--

Sike! TJ immediately regrets this decision once he realizes that his father having a personal life means that he won’t see him as much. TJ has a basketball game coming up that Floyd won’t be able to attend now. Yvette offers to take him but it’s not the same because Yvette is a girl and girls aren’t fun. And just like that, TJ the petty, cock-blocking asshole comes back.

The next day, TJ and Floyd are playing basketball when Jamie comes home. Floyd invites her to play but TJ is all like “bitch, wait your turn” and then Floyd puts her on TJ’s team. She then bribes TJ with the food she’s about to cook for them. He agrees but then Jamie and Floyd start flirting because duh. TJ leaves in a jealous fit, upset that this woman he hooked his father up with has the gall to want to spend time with him. He simulates what he wants to do to her body on a bag of Funions.

I have to say though, how long was the frame of this episode? Days? Weeks? Jamie has essentially become their stepmom. She’s even giving Marcus advice on how to treat a girl like a human being instead of a meat popsicle with titties. Yvette and Marcus then leave, allowing Jamie and Floyd their Blockbuster and Chill time with The Preacher’s Wife.

But TJ is a boner detector because as soon as Jamie and Floyd are about to mash faces, TJ whimpers for his pa because he doesn’t feel good. We think Floyd banished him to his room but then TJ comes over and pushes the two would-be lovers apart so he can ruin their night. Jamie eventually decides to leave, even though it’s clear she was holding out in case she could get a piece of Floyd but TJ completely squashed that possibility. Floyd actually whines when Jamie says she’s leaving. Aww. Floyd is lonely. Does TJ care? Of course not. 

TJ sounds perfectly fine when he says he’s sorry he ruined the night. Father and son decide to just watch the movie together instead.

The next day at school, Marcus is spitting his game at the girl he went on a date with. Turns out, treating women like actual people has been working well for him! He’s even going on a second date. Yvette comes by to let TJ know that she’s picking him up again. TJ is, of course, pissed because Jamie had come over to the house the night before, albeit dick-less. Yvette has to explain to TJ that when you date someone, the goal is to see them frequently and that he’s the reason their last date sucked. She then shatters Marcus’s dreams by letting him know that Floyd is taking his car on his date. Guess Marcus is gonna have to make out on the bus.

TJ’s lips are all puckered because he’s losing his father to another woman. He’s so distressed that he actually picks a fight with a senior. Mo steps in and literally drags TJ home. No, seriously. He carried TJ like a bag of groceries all the way to the Henderson house during school. Then he transformed into a therapist to get to the root of TJ’s outburst. This is during school hours. Mo skipped school to bring TJ home and give Floyd advice. Mo is amazing.

TJ is playing basketball with himself when Floyd comes in and then he spills that he’s sick of Jamie. Floyd reminds TJ that he’s the one who set them up and I guess TJ didn’t know things would actually change. Now would have been a good time to mention if he feels some way about another woman besides Yvette playing a maternal figure in the wake of his mother’s never explained death. But Floyd does a good job as usual and says this is temporary because when TJ is a teenager, he won’t want anything to do with Floyd. TJ finally stops being a prick and Floyd offers to be careful about how he schedules his time and then continues the basketball game he let Jamie interrupt previously. Aww Floyd. Too bad TJ is probably going to hold onto this for a while because he was giving his dad a lot of shit in the end credits. This isn’t even the last time he does this to Floyd and we never see Jamie again, so I guess it’s safe to assume that TJ killed Jamie. 

Things I noticed:

- Can we just take a moment to appreciate how hot Floyd is? How could Marcus ever think his dad wouldn’t be able to attract women?

- This brilliant cover for the gang if Floyd came in during the date deliberation:

- Marcus doesn’t want Floyd to go out on dates because he wants the car to himself on the weekends. He says if Floyd starts going out, he’s making out in the back of the bus. Yvette then says, “No, thanks to Rosa Parks, you can make out anywhere on the bus.” Brilliant retort. I really hand it to the writers of this show.

[stoiccthulhu]

Update time...actually, why should these be titled? I mean, whats the point of writing a title to these if all I’m going to do is ramble on and on with no specific topic of discussion, just several things on my mind?

Election day 2020 happened yesterday and I voted for nobody. And if I would have voiced my polling choice I would have voted for the candidate I see as being the best option in line with my thoughts and opinions concerning the state of the world at the moment as well as the future.

You can insert whomever you want to believe that would be based off an assumption and a look at my internetting footprint, but you would be wrong, but that’s part of the fun of interpreting what I’m writing down for you in the future. Trying to figure out what I’m actually saying. While it makes complete sense to me, because you don’t have the hidden key phrase you can’t decipher what it is that I am putting to digital paper.

I get it, I’m an asshole.

And this isn’t, completely, a justification towards my actions but a direct result of your intervention within my life that has caused this behaviour. Think of it sort of like a self-fulfilling prophecy. You interpreted me, came back, and intervened in any little way imaginable. Negatively or positively, but no matter your justification, it was still an intervention that didn’t need to happen because, as Malcolm once said, “Life, finds a way.” And just like destiny, it will find a way. But enough of all that crazy talk, you’re here because you want to hear all about my political leanings and to unravel the mystery as to this anonymous random on the internet’s preferred presidential choice in the election that has already passed.

But before I do that, let’s get some shit off my chest because I tend to swear and if you don’t like it, go the hell away. I’m sick of people being sensitive over everything. As if they’re looking for any reason to complain or get offended nowadays.

“The internet has given everyone in (the world) a voice, and evidently everyone in (the world) has chosen to use that voice to bitch about (anyone they find offensive)” -Holden McNeil (with some modern revisions)

And that’s why I’ve chose not to be PC in this thing, whenever I feel the urge to put pen to paper, relatively speaking.

Like, let’s see who I can offend right off the bat.

Women need to start getting punched more and treated like human beings instead of china dolls. If you’re a pro-gender equality advocate, and you’re a woman, you need to be willing to be punched in the face for doing ANYTHING a man would otherwise be punched in the face for. They also need to be held accountable for the shit they do to everyone. I am a strong supporter in believing that no matter what women say about women controlling the government and such, while women have great communication skills, they have the worst track record when it comes to not being aggressive, biologically speaking.

In the wild, whom are normally the more aggressive of the genders? Whom is usually the one more protective of the young? more willing to go out to hunt?

To be fair, I have a very limited knowledge when it comes to the animal kingdom. But, I mean, the Black Widow is normally depicted as being a deadly female, the female preying mantis devours the head of her mate after they’re done mating. There are so many, example, of females being worse than males in nature its hard to ignore. And, to add religious believers to the list of people offended, if you’re not ignorant to science and knowledge, or at least the pursuit of it, we evolved over a long period of time from apes, which, by nature, makes us, humans, not white people, black people, yellow people(to stick to the color scheme), brown people(gotta throw the other Asian people’s in there as well), animals. Highly evolved and communicative animals, but animals none the less. Was that supposed to be one word? Nonetheless?

Doesn’t matter. So, if you stick with my logic, you’ll see that women are terrible. Terrible. But, because men like to have sex with females as opposed to men for the most part in today’s society women have a stranglehold on the pelvic reason of an entire world, which means they can make anyone, for the most part, do anything they want and see things their way, even if they’re saying the sky is as green as the skies of Namek. An example of this is perfectly laid out in a clip from That 70′s Show. Kelso and Hyde prove women can’t play fight because they’ll turn it real, for whatever reason, just because they’re girls. To prove this, Kelso and Hyde play fight, and it looks bad, but they stop, laugh, and hug it out. Then Jackie and Donna play fight, starting out playfully, but then turning it into hair pulling and needing to be pulled apart. Both visibly angry.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jUwxxJvtQnI

(OK, my memory was bad, it was Eric and Hyde, and it was set up differently, but the concept is still there.)

And I get it, they’re actors, being paid to do what the script is telling them to do, but it is true. Girls are worst during puberty as well, from what I’ve heard. And I get it, I have a biased standpoint being a male, but in today's culture that shouldn’t matter, it’s about what’s being said, not my gender.

Now that women are out of the way, lets also as black people, but not specifically black people, its more of a systemic form of racism that I believe shouldn’t exist. In which, if you are not of that specific race, you are not allowed to say the n-word. What makes me giggle right now is that with just that sentence every single person reading this probably got a bit riled up. A bit ruffled in the feathers because I’m not a black person. And if you weren’t, you are now, knowing what you know now.

So let me provide you with some context so you can understand how I’m not racist at the same time as saying what I said above.

I enjoy rap music and hip-hop, as do a lot of people throughout the world, black or otherwise. Which, in this current climate, would be considered one of the forms of cultural appropriation we tend to sweep under the rug because it doesn’t fit our narrative of being offended about something. Because I like rap music I tend to learn the word to all of the songs I enjoy listening to. Because I learn the words to the songs that I enjoy listening to I sing along. But, because I’m not black, I have to ruin my flow to edit myself just because the artist chose to use nigger in their song. Which, as an artist, is their choice.

Now, why should I have to edit myself? I have tried to replace it with “wigger”, but because of the closeness of the words, I felt that would still be offensive if I was ever overheard by the wrong black person who, understandably, would be mad if they heard a pasty white boy say the word nigger without any context.

I just think, unless the person is using the word in a hateful way, directed at the person the speaker either personally knows or is conciously speaking about, as in “i hate that nigger” or “you’re a nigger”. If it’s something like that, totally beat the shit out of that racist.

But if you’re singing along to Wu-Tang, and you say:

I be that insane nigga from the psycho ward I'm on the trigger, plus I got the Wu-Tang sword So how you figure, that you can even fuck with mine? Hey, yo, RZA! Hit me with that shit one time! And pull a foul, niggas, save the beef for the cow I'm milkin' this ho, this is my show, Tical! The fuck you wanna do on this mic piece, duke? I'm like a sniper, hyper off the ginseng root PLO Style, buddha monks with the owls Now who's the fuckin' man? Meth-Tical It shouldn’t be labelled as being racist.

There is more rattling around in my head right now, things that I’ve been thinking about for years, and things that have been bothering me for just about as long, but for now those were the two that fell out when I vomited all over my keyboard.

And if you’re offended. Get over it. You need to start.

Oh, I almost forgot. I was going to tell you whom it was I was going to vote for yesterday if I had voted for anybody. Jokingly I wanted to write-in “Obi-Wan Kenobi”. But in truth I was going to vote for Biden. Not because I thought he was the better candidate, but because there was not a good option at all, he was just the lesser of two evils. This election has made me decide I want a third option when it comes to my politicians, or at least, get rid of political parties all together. We spend so much time infighting and holding each other back instead of up no real change has happened in the past decade? Longer? And whatever change that does happen gets nitpicked apart so much it becomes a shell of its former self. But, enough about that. I have a baby demanding eggs and waffles and I still need to tag this.

[pass-the-bechdel]

Marvel Cinematic Universe: Black Panther (2018)

Does it pass the Bechdel Test?

Yes, nine times.

How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?

Six (40% of cast).

How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?

Nine.

Positive Content Rating:

Three (though it’s worth reminding that this rating is based on the positivity of the content in relation to the female characters, not in general - there’s some real top-shelf content in here, otherwise. Still a very happy three for the ladies anyway, for that matter).

General Film Quality:

High-end. The commitment to nuanced storytelling is impeccable, grappling with all angles of a complex hypothetical far better than could have been anticipated. This is a movie which never loses sight of its own importance, while also never getting too bogged down in it to be entertaining. Earns every ounce of the hype.

MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) UNDER THE CUT:

Passing the Bechdel:

Nakia gives her condolences to the Queen Mother. The Queen chastises Shuri. Nakia compliments Okoye’s wig. Nakia negotiates entrance to the club with Sophia. Nakia and Okoye conflict over loyalties. Nakia passes with the Queen Mother after Killmonger takes over, twice. Shuri and Nakia go into battle. They pass together later.

Female characters:

Okoye.

Nakia.

The Queen Mother (technically not a name, but I’m allowing it as a title).

Shuri.

Sophia.

Ayo.

Male characters:

Erik ‘Killmoger’ Stevens/N’Jadaka.

N’Jobu.

Zuri.

T’Chaka.

T’Challa.

Ulysses Klaue.

M’Baku.

W’Kabi.

Everett Ross.

OTHER NOTES:

I’m not sure if T’Challa ruining Nakia’s anti-HUMAN TRAFFICKING mission because he wants her around for emotional support is a very endearing intro for his character in this film...I mean, sure, they rescue the people in the convoy, but presumably there was more to the mission (otherwise Nakia wouldn’t complain that it was ruined), and T’Challa prioritises his feelings over both Nakia’s work, and the lives of all the people it effects. Coulda avoided the negative implications there with just a little fine-tuning in the dialogue.

“Nah, I’m just feelin’ it.” Michael B Jordan has such a great energy about him; he’s very, very convincing, in a role which could have broken the film if it were poorly cast.

But you know what? I fucking LOVE M’Baku, he’s my personal fave for the movie. That presence. This is an excruciatingly well-cast film (among other virtues).

I’m Hella into that Lion King vibe when communing with the spirit realm, too.

Erik shoots his unnamed girlfriend for nothing more than the drama of it, and that is not one of this film’s virtues.

Shuri calling Ross ‘coloniser’ is just...so good. There’s a lot about this film that is a reclamation, in big and obvious in-text ways, but there are also these kinds of little impactful choices which contextualise Wakanda’s relationship to the world and its history, and that kind of detailing is the difference between posturing, and playing for real.

The music in this movie? Also great. Traditional African and modern African-American, representing the interweave of themes and ideologies in-story? Fucking gold. They did not skimp on details in putting this movie together with intelligent design, and I am Hella into it.

M’Baku just fucking BARKING at Ross when he dares speak before him is the highlight of the whole film. It’s perfect. 

A friend of mine has suggested that there must be a missing scene or two in this movie, wherein the Queen Mother convinces M’Baku to go into battle after all, since as-is he just kinda...changes his mind off-screen and she serves no narrative purpose at all. It’s unfortunate such a linking scene is missing, as it would have significantly enhanced both characters and helped to emotionally underpin the final act of the film, which is comparatively weak. 

But anyway, M’Baku is my best dude in this movie. I love a huge man in a grass skirt.

The whole idea that W’Kabi and Okoye have a relationship at all is kinda nonexistent; we wouldn’t know about it at all if she hadn’t called him ‘my love’ that one time. Coulda beefed that up better, i.e. at all.

“Bury me in the ocean, with my ancestors that jumped from the ships, because they knew that death was better than bondage.” Michael B Jordan delivered every aspect of this character with such raw power and sincerity, y’all. He hits it straight home.

It goes without saying that there was a lot of pressure for this film to be good: a big-budget superhero action movie, part of the most lucrative cinema franchise in the world right now, taking on an afro-futuristic setting with an almost exclusively black cast? The potential for Black Panther to come off as little more than lip service paid to representation, ‘too PC’, lacking the guts to acknowledge the breadth of the racism that inevitably informs it, perhaps even falling dangerously toward racist cliches of its own...there is no other film of its kind, and as such, Black Panther could not escape being judged as more than an individual story on its own, as a representation of an entire continent’s worth of people and culture and what they could bring to an industry which has made an aggressive point of shutting them out in the past. The pressure was well and truly on to provide not only financial success put also critical acclaim, and boy oh boy, did they rise to the occasion or what?

The centrepiece of Black Panther’s success is Michael B Jordan as Erik Killmonger, striking a precise balance between the heat of well-deserved fury, and the chilling calculation of his revenge. Killmonger’s rhetoric is compelling, and it is the meeting point of the film’s threads, of Wakandan tradition, of the country’s privilege in the midst of colonial oppression and the dire morality of its secrecy, of the call of the wider world and the determining of one’s place within it. It’s vitally important that Killmonger makes sense, right up until he doesn’t - a good villain should always feel like someone you could almost follow, if only they weren’t taking things that one step too far - narratively, this is in an important pitch, but it’s also vital for the context of the viewing audience, the acknowledgement and the validation of that rage at injustice (without which, the film would come off as pandering to white guilt), but without the promotion of violent eye-for-an-eye solutions. Killmonger’s anger is never condemned, only the actions he perpetrates in the name of that anger; the viewer is forced to acknowledge the reality that made Killmonger what he is, but without being encouraged to forgive; only to understand.

I am hardly the first to observe that it is Nakia, not T’Challa, who represents the foil to Killmonger’s ideology, recognising and stirring to action at the injustice’s wrought upon the African people, but seeing in Wakanda the potential to offer unprecedented assistance rather than the opportunity for the oppressed to become the oppressor. The film is populated with character counter-balances, and it validates each perspective (while also illuminating shortcomings) to enhance the overall narrative, rather than equivocating too strenuously to make any point; Nakia values people like Okoye values her country, and while Nakia is right that blind patriotism fails the country if it allows tyranny, the strength of Okoye’s conviction is exactly what inspires the loyalty of those who follow her in the protection of Wakandan values; while Shuri ‘scoffs at tradition’ and leans entirely on the unending machine of technological progress, M’Baku and his people are safeguarding traditional practices and keeping ancient knowledge alive, which saves T’Challa when there’s no tech around - by the same token, without the protective blanket of technological progress, the Jabari would not be free to live as they do. There is good sense in the perspective which every character brings, and all of them are required in symbiosis to achieve a full picture of cultural identity. 

In that broad conversation of identity and place in the world, if there’s one weak link, it’s the Black Panther himself, T’Challa. Not that he’s a weak character or that Chadwick Boseman is a weak actor - it’s just that he’s being thoroughly outplayed by all around him. It’s a good thing in regards to how well-cast the movie is and how it fleshes out its supporting players (in spite of the missing pieces pointed out in the notes above); in an overall-lesser film, the lead being the least compelling character - and especially with such a powerfully-constructed antagonist opposite him - could be a crippling flaw, but as-is Black Panther is pulling out enough stops to get away with having an under-sold Black Panther at its head. That, really, is a testament to the power of the story, and the work being done by everyone involved to tell the tale with tact, with dynamism, with all the colour and flavour the white-washed film industry has been denying all this time. We could talk about its flaws, sure, but there doesn’t seem to be much point - none of them are fatal, none are even particularly egregious, and the achievements of the movie far outweigh any quality blips along the way. Black Panther is a measured, sensitive triumph, and there’s a part of me that - in the best of ways - almost forgets that I’m watching a Marvel movie, a cash-grab - sure, they want to make money out of it, but this feels above all like a passion project. Passion like this, so fully-realised, I am not inclined to fault.

[ghosty-schnibibit]

i  a m  d e s t r a u g h t

i legit did not even think this ep would come out today and i spent the last hour relistening to the last one to make up for the fact that i meant to relisten to the whole arc this week. oh well! time to be emotionally destroyed!

oooooh no, i am so worried about all the clips griffin chose for the previously one

don't die duck, please don't die my favorite boy

yes! minerva my love!!!

duck what are you doing

"follow the light" what the fuck duck newton

DUCK IT IS CHARGING AT YOU

spontaneous monster death

"i'm going to beef city!" ilu justin

YES IT DOES MATTER DON'T KILL MY FAVORITE BOY

oh damn that's not good

... so is minerva going to see him basically sacrifice beacon to get to leo? fuck, how is she going to take that???

please someone animate this, p l e a s e

nope, the jet pack is still ford angela-ing around in the woods

did leo bring the jet pack??? oh dang i guess leo brought the jet pack

"you don't know what else could be in there" that sounds like dm speak for there's some good shit in the truck

please let this not be a repeat of merle talking to john and getting five sevens in a row

oh nice! cool! back up weapon!

f l o r e s c e n t  g o r r o

"what's with these five's dog?" what did i just say

how many luck points is duck down to now? i'm assuming more than aubrey but i think less than ned

"extremely, exquisitely dead" jesus griffin

♪♫♬ i can show you the world ♪♫♬

god i love you justin mcelroy

n o r t h

oh fuck, that ain't good

what are you doing minerva???

she's making a connection back to her home planet!!!

at least we don't have to worry about a shot-the-fake-ned scenario anymore lmao

jake my baby boy ilu so much

aubrey sounds so worried

oh now i'm worried griffin

oh no, oh no, this is very very bad

aubrey don't you sacrifice yourself, i can feel that’s the direction this is going, don’t you do it

NICE! GO AUBREY :D

and we're worried about every one of them trav

okay sweet, less worried about aubrey dying now

well this is extremely, extremely bad, holy fuck

aww eugine :(

OH YEAH, AGENT STERN

oh no, oh pigeon :(((

i am... extremely terrified

god i fucking love you aubrey

damn trav go off

DO! NOT! BURN! THAT! LUCK!

i figured that's how that would go, yikes

having never seen twin peaks i don't know that dynamic :|

"y'know what, no?" ilu aubrey

... oh shit, is stern going to be on their side???

never mind, goddamn this ep is breaking so bad, holy shit

mama ilu so much

oh shit i forgot about that!!!

YES DO THAT AUBREY, AT LEAST TELL VINCENT

god bless ilu

"oh shit, ned may have been right" that's terrifying in its own right lol

god damn the music is so good this ep

that's some cool imagery

it was a number of episodes lol

i think ned has grown on me a lot more as episodes have gone on, i really want him to succeed in a way i didn't in previous episodes

that's a great mental image

NED WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?????

CLINT WHAT THE FLYING FUCK WHAT IS YOUR STRATEGY HERE

"HERE'S THE THING-" I SURE HOPE THERE’S A THING NED

it was you larry

NED THIS IS NOT GOING TO WORK

bless you clint holy shit

okay, at least they got the hornets on their side

eugine no D:

ilu barclay

okay at least mama is being somewhat sensible about this

"I'M A STEALIN' GUY, OKAY!?" ilu ned

oh no not the abomination music

OH GOD WHAT THE FLYING FUCK

YOU CAN'T JUST CLIFF HANGER IT THERE GRIFFIN

i don't even like ritz crackers griffin

holy shit there's still more than an hour left to this episode, fuck

i just took a minute during the ad read to read the description and... oh fucking boy am i worried about every single character but especially ned. i'm pretty sure the deadly risk for aubrey was pulling the wood out of her leg but i'm worried that it might not be, and “confession” sounds a little too much like last rites for my comfort :(((((

MINERVA :D

"tone and definition are important duck newton!" bless

i love you so much minerva

justin is just absolutely fucked this episode, holy shit

oh poor duck :(

aww minerva :')

"TIME TO CLIMB IDIOT" ilu duck

YES! YES! GO DUCK! :DDDDD

i'm gonna google that, oh hell yeah that's sweet as hell

god i fucking love minerva so much

"i have missed your tutelage" bless you duck my sweet boy

oh the beat is picking up this is so good

THIS IS SUCH A GOOD SCENE DUCK

YES! YES!!! YEEEEES!!!!!

THIS MUSIC IS SO BANGING I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

YEEEEEEEEEEAH!!!!!!!!!!

"well that's the thing-" oh no

jesus griffin you did not need to put that much malice into the word “squeezes”

NICE! he's got some of his chosen mojo back! :D

i am so worried for duck holy shit

THIS WAS THE LIGHT FROM HIS VISION

THIS MUSIC IS SO FUCKING GOOD

AND THEN SHE LEAPS, AND SHE'S HERE

MINERVA!!!!!!!!!!

... that's the quell isn't it

oh this is extremely not good, oh christ they're all going to get massacred

oh no were they... is this a mass exodus from sylvain??? oh my god no

AUBREY PLEASE ASK WHAT'S GOING ON

i'm legit listening to this while there's a thunderstorm in the background, nice ambiance

why are they vanishing??? what mission?????

OH NO I AM SO WORRIED I KNOW WHAT SHE'S GOING TO TRY

did he say weeks early? oh my god this is even worse than i thought

yes!!! go vincent!!!!!

"alright" GRIFFIN I AM WORRIED

YES YES YES YES YES, THANK GOD FOR THOSE GOOD GOOD TRAVIS MCELROY ROLLS

I CALLED IT, WE ALL CALLED IT, IT'S A PART OF THE CRYSTAL

... oh no does she not have magic anymore

AUBREY I FUCKING LOVE YOU SO MUCH

dang, that's not great

... oh no, this has to do with the book doesn't it

YES YOU SHOULD VINCENT

this music is so gorgeous oh my god

"i do???" mood clint

alright, fair enough roll

"what ever's inside this thing is also in danger" it's dani isn't it

NED NO, NED YOU DIPSHIT

"are you threatening this sarcophagus?" ilu griffin

alright, not a bad move

ned's going to shoot it, ned's going to kill it and it's going to be dani, this is so very very bad oh my god

IT'S FUCKING DANI!!!!! WE ALL CALLED IT IT'S DANI!!!!!!!!!!

...oh no. oh no oh no oh no. they're going to kill her aren't they

"what do you do?" griffin i am so scared and this music isn't helping

MAYBE BURN A LUCK HERE NED

oh my god this music is killing me griffin

oh my god is... is ned dead???

oh ned :'(

i'm trying so hard not to cry right now and failing so hard

clint you are destroying me here

with love, edmund kelly chicane

oh my god pigeon killed him, oh god

i... i do not know how to feel. i feel heartbroken, on a level i can't describe. i always... in the back of my mind, i always hoped all the pcs would make it to the end, even though i didn't always like everything they did. i always thought they would pull through. but this... it was heartbreaking. and it was beautiful. and it was redemptive. and it fit into the narrative arc of ned's character and his life so well. ned was my least favorite of the core three, but now... he's a fictional character and i feel bad for not appreciating him while he was here. and its a testament to the power of clint's acting, and griffin's writing, and the entire mcelroy family's ability to suck me so deep into a narrative that i feel like i'll be grieving ned chicane for the next week or two at least. there's still about 23 minutes left and i don't know how i'm going to make it though any of them.

... oh god that's why the sarcophagus fell apart isn't it

the level of jocularity implies to me that they filmed this long before clint's scene and i'm still so upset, duck and aubrey still don't know yet

what is this place? oh my god what is this???

god this music is so pretty

is this... the quell???

what on earth is this, i have no idea what is happening

OH NO THE MUSIC IS WARPING THIS IS SO BAD

oh thank god leo didn't die at least

that is not in any way comforting minerva

we are at 15 minutes left and i am... so terrified

oh my god, oh my god, oh my god

aubrey my baby ; _ ;

oh god the gate is going to open isn't it

what's happening???

this music is so beautiful and i am so afraid of it

OH MY GOD WHAT

JANELLE

god damn this is so powerful god damn

arms outstreached

OH NO, THIS IS SO BAD, OH NO

I WAS NOT EXPECTING JANELLE TO HAVE A LUCRETIA-ESQUE SORT-OF HEEL TURN THIS IS NOT GREAT

OH NO THIS IS HORRIBLE HOLY SHIT, OH NO, OH NO, OH NO

travis you're being a bit nonchalant about this don't you think

oh my god no please tell me aubrey isn't going to die too

YOU CANNOT END IT THERE GRIFFIN MCELROY

... see you all june 13th, holy fucking shit

[freeshooterxig]

Tldr: playing villains with all stops off is fun, but oof #consequence.

Those that have known me for a while have know that I love to role play Villains and Antiheroes/Antivillains. For years, I try to play them to push the plot with minor conflicts to press characters to see what they're made of. Man vs man, man vs nature, man vs self; they're all points that can push a character to challenge the PC in ways that they never directly think of.

That being said, I have never actually tried to kill my fellow role players. At least not with a intelligent humanoid who knows the difference of right and wrong and the consequences of his or her direct actions. Piss off; yes. Challenge ones way of thinking; yes. Outright kill/murder? This weekend was my first time.

To set the scene the BBEG was someone from my Druid's past. Someone that I had been hinting at since they were level 3 was somewhere in the city tracking them with Imps, spawning random ambush because he wanted revenge against their druid bud. (Bad falling out where two of his friends/family were killed in consequence). It made him a Abjuration / Infernal pact Warlock hyped up on something called Dragonsblood, which is a highly addictive thing in game that gives you things like sorcery points, but widdles away your body like heroin.

Fast forward, they're now level 6/7 and I had to keep scaling him up to keep a good challenge going. Because truthfully, I wanted each of their past plot lines to be difficult to deadly encounters depending on how they left certain threads lie. So while his real body had like a -4 constitution, ac was 7, and Hp 5; the BB's mind went into a Horned Devil thanks to his Chain Pact with the Infernal. Kind of Detective Pikachu route where mind of guy in Wheel Chair goes into body of Mewtwo.

Story time: Conflict builds in talks. Big Bad, code name Paps, starts to realize who group is because Paladin says that his imps have been bothering them, and requests for him to stop. Paps says his imps have only been tracking one individual- to which Frosia (target druid) panics and drops a Magic Bean, from Bag of Beans.

98 on a d100. He summons a mini dungeon that is 60ft tall pyramid. In an underground bar. The center point of the structure lands right behind them, cutting off their sorcerer and cleric from the rest of the party for 5 rounds. 52 points of damage goes out from the collapsing walls, roof, and rubble cut into them. Everyone on Paps side passes Dex rolls, killing most of his minions in the process, but hes got 2 legendary resistance and actions so now hes in the air as a horned devil and pissed.

Easy way to defeat him was to find his real body and kill him, so the soul would leave the devil and desummon it and all his minions. Instead they go in against him at about 200hp, ac buffed up to 19, and this form has Con +5 and attacking +10

My group was on their edge of their seats the whole time with the struggle bus at half health due to the pyramid crash. Druid loses both of his beast shapes because Big bad is GUNNING for him. Falls unconscious like twice, only because Selune (our paladin) is able to keep him up with lay on hands.

They start widdling away his health, hes angry and starts to panic, and causes Druid to go under Enemies Abound. Two rounds go by, I start making him waste his last 3rd and 2nd level spells against random targets in the party. By this time hes out of spells (3 1st level), paladin has like 1st level, no health pool, and Rouge finds the door and starts unlocking it to find his actual body.

So fun thing about Devils. Most of them have a barbed tail that deal some sort of poison devils. Horned devils have a Tail attack that's 1d8+6, with an additional 3d6 damage called Infernal Blight, which is a NECROTIC based poison that says on the body and continues doing damage if they fail a con save.

Round 8 Jackal our Rouge finds the door that leads to Paps body. He tries to unlock the door, but with the Abj ward on it, its JUST out of his lock picking.

Paps body was in danger. And it became I needed to stop this rouge. Still wanted to kill the druid - ok. Last 3rd level spell; cast minute meteor

1. Does 2d6 fire damage and half as much on a Dex save. 2. Jackal (rouge) has dex maxed out. I know as a dm hes probably only going to take half damage. 3. He only has 5 hp points left, but with fire damage, worst thing is he will fall unconscious for a few turns, and the cleric is 60 ft away and can use a medical kit to at least stabilize him worst case scenario 4. Jackal I think has ever gone unconscious once before. It was an accomplishment on my part if I could ever knock any of these guys unconscious. Then Jackal used EVASION which pissed Paps off. Took zero damage on the success, made him - made me waste a third level spell to protect my body.

If I did not kill him, I would die. This was the last round. All stops were thrown out. So I had on legendary action left. I did the Tail attack. 1d8+6 piercing. He went down. Additionally took -14 NECROTIC damage. Auto kill. No saving throws, no death saves. Dead.

Stabbed through the chest, I ask Tyler what he wants Jackal's last words to be. He turns to Casey/Selune, the revenge paladin that had a similar background to him that has a beef with the religious group known as the Silver flame, and tells her to "Burn them all down."

No one had any spells left. Cleric had revivify, but she was out of third levels. Nothing. Zip. Nada.

Selune manages to kill devil right after. Still in rotation. They spend a few rounds breaking through the door where Paps is still trying to off spells like Crown of Madness and Sleep against the Druid as a last attempt of turning him on the others to kill him. As they're trying to get to him to compulse him to somehow heal Jackal, Paps just says to Frosia "You took two of mine; I'll take one of yours in return."

They manage to get him out of the safe room, pin him and charm him, screaming heal him, save him, which I can only reply "I'm not a cleric boy. You've known that from the start. If I had that power, I would have brought them back."

To which Frosia (druid from big bads past) slits his throat, and tells the others to get him out.

We ended the session on that cliff hanger because it was 630 at night. The shock and realization started to sink in thli the point where all I could do was remember an interview with #mattmercer whom had said they had taken everyone out to drinks when #Mollymauk had died in #criticalrole. We needed booze, we needed sugar. Walked everyone to Hurricanes and had sangrias cheese cake where Tyler was able to share a little more of a glimpse into Jackals back story.

Dry tears and emotions still flood, left on such a high point of drama. The reality of the situation is that they have 10 days to find someone who's willing to use Raise Dead on him to bring him back, but since there is a Stigma against Changelings in the area that they are in, the odds are low.

They have one friend who is a high enough cleric, but hes a three day trek out into the woods to find him. I'm interested to see where it goes.

I'm also still sitting with myself, trying to digest everything, because intentionally in game I murdered someone in cold blood. But playing true to a villain character, it was something that needed to be done.

But at the end of the day, its something morally that I stand behind as a role player. With conflict, comes risk of breaking people. But characters are like geodes; it's only when they're broken are you able to see what they are truly made of.

I have plans and ways to bring him back just incase Raise Dead does not work.

But for now, cheers to you Jackal. We'll see you again soon.

#characterdeath #dungeonsanddragons #dnd #eberron #lethalencounter #tldr

[enbyjade]

94, 89, 82, 76, 67, 64, 57, 56, 51, 41, 32, 4. This anon loves your responses!

4: How did your elementary school teachers describe you?

They would say I was happy, joyful, friendly, a pleasure to have in class, etc. In kindergarten actually, they handed at like, awards to the kids. Mine was "Mr. SUNSHINE" cause I was always smiling and happy and willing to cheer other people up whenever.

32: top 5 favorite vines?

How do I choose lol. Theres way to many. Ones in my head rn at least are

1 - An avacado... thaaaanks

2 - I dont have enough money for chicken nuggets.

3 - I smell like beef

4 - this bitch empty, Y E E T!

5 - hi, my name is Chelsea. What's your favorite dinner food?

Theres more, but those just came to me first.

41: last person you texted?

My bf @homotorah

51: current stresses?

Right now just getting my living situation settled. That mostly consists of work, insurance and food. Work has hopefully over with cause I just got a full time job that pays almost 14/hr so itll help a lot.

56: favorite tradition?

I dont really have any tbh. Most of the ones my family did were christian based and right now I don't want to deal with christianity. One I guess would be being able to pick where we went to eat for my birthday. I loved going to The Speghetti Factory for my birthday, but theres not one where I live so it makes me a little sad.

57: three biggest struggles I've overcome?

One kinda in progress in my mental health. I suffer from depression and anxiety and some days it's still rough but I get through it. I hope to get some help with that soon, but it requires insurance. Another would be figuring myself out??? If that makes sense. Sexuality and gender and figuring it out. I think I have it down now, but who knows, in a years time i might decide I ID a whole different way. The last is kinda cheesy ig, but my bf and I had to do a long distance relationship and it was really tough on both of us. It was for about a year that we were apart, but once college started we were back together again.

64: favorite website from your childhood?

There were a few I can think of. I played a lot of webkinz as a kid as well as another game like that called Moshi Monsters (I think that's what it was). I also played and put way to much time and money into Wizard 101. I got back into it a few months ago, but at the moment it's just too expensive to keep playing.

67: good luck charms?

I don't have any that I can think of.

76: favorite potato food?

Hash browns definitely. Tater tots are okay, and I realize that they're just cylindrical hash browns, but it's just not the same.

82: PC or console?

Console. I grew up on xbox so I enjoy the controller a lot more. I could probably get used to PC, but my wrists hurt after a while

89: who would you put before everyone else?

My bf @homotorah

94: favorite season?

Fall. The colors are really pretty and my allergies aren't as bad as spring